Catch Up...

This was a random late night post I put up on myspace after a late night of Parades in Kauai, yup we were in this cool parade with the Salvation Army, and here it is:


Random ramblings in late night murmurs.

This may be one of those random posts as my mind is racing a bit right now.

I havn't posted on here in a while so I thought I would give it a go. Life out here on this rock is pretty rad. There is a pretty big difference between mainland and hawaiian life but on the same token there isn't. There are many aspects of the Hawaiian culture that I truly admire. The people out here are so giving and so warm. They may not know you, may have never seen you, may never see you again yet they give so much love either way. Same with respect. But with all aspects if one refuses to return it so will it also not be given. (I'm rereading this and it sounds pretty weird. Sorry for the crazy lingo and sentence structure in this sucker...Happy day)

I was having another one of those reflective moments the other day and am so thrown back by how life progresses and changes. I am so different from the boy I was 4 years ago. I have progressed so far from the guy I was a year ago. I have changed so much from the person I was just a couple of months ago. Yet, I am still the same wacky person that is still stokin',even more so, off of life and God. I guess the changes have occured at a deeper level of who I am. The personality is still pretty much the same but my mentality, my ideals, my beleifs, my maturity/immaturities... that is what has changed. So is the story with Life.

I have always tried to embrace change and probably more now then ever do I desire so much more change. The person I was becoming was not something I am proud of and is still something that gives me chicken skin to think about. Probably one of the biggest changes and probably one of the best changes in me is in relation to my walk with Christ.
When someone reaches the lowest point of the pit, an area where darkness consumes even the person surrounded by it, the crossroads are met. Live in that pit and become comfortable in the darkness allowing it to completely incinerate ones heart digging farther down into the pit or get out of it. The basic options of this pit are pretty simple when looking at it in hindsite. Either stay in the pit or get out. Each path has its consequences. Some are negative some are positive, the lines aren't always clearly drawn, the options don't seem black or white but grey with a hugh of random purple laced in, and there is so much "wind" and "dust" swirlin' around that up seems down and down seems up most of the time. I believe we all face moments where we are caught in a pit like this maybe even multiple for us hardheaded people.

In this pit I have experienced Gods grace and Mercy. His love has shown me how great He really is. I was thinking about this and how people may think that I have chosen "Christianity" as my out let for getting me out of "the pit", or to better myself as I find best suited. My response to that is "No, I havn't chosen 'Christianity' but God." I chose a relationship not a religion. I've tried so much to better myself in so many areas of my life. I have tried willing myself to be a better person and it really has lead me back to the start, again. The word Christian means Christ Follower and I think the meaning has really left the word in the worlds eyes and has been replaced by titles. "Bible thumper", "Hypocrite", "Republican"... are images many people get when they hear the word.

(It may seem like I am ranting in this blog, and maybe I am, but I am not bashing Christianity in any way nor am I trying to discourage any body through this blog. I apologize if this is the case so far, those are not my intensions. This is more of a source that I am using to filter out some of the many ideas popping through my head and share it. In my mind it also kind of sucks that feel like I have to put this disclaimer in this blog. But I suffice.)

My definition of religion, and I don't remember where exactly I heard this but it stuck, is this: Religion: Mans attempt to get closer to God. I think about that and wonder, what can I do to get closer to God? If I am to do anything to get closer to God wouldn't that take the glory away from God and direct it to what I have done and ultimately to me? But, the bible also talks about religion, In James 1 at the end of the chapter: "True religion is this: To look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep ones heart from being polluted by the world." So maybe religion does have a thing in it....

I find that in my journey, though, and in my struggles in the pit, that I desire more a relationship then a religion. I want something personal that "moves", inspires, and "lives." There are things we can do to nurture that relationship that I am finding are so crucial in allowing it to grow, ie: prayer, reading the bible, living the love God has given us. In James it is seen that faith without works is dead. So maybe those areas that people consider religious are essential for the growth of the relationship. routine vs. desire or maybe desire for routine vs. desire for change or maybe good vs. evil or batman vs. spiderman....... i don't know...It's late and my mind is running....

I find that I feel so much more alive when living out a relationship with God, living out of love for God, experiencing an intimate relationship with Jesus. Maybe it's because Jesus is alive and He desires this from us... As I read the bible I see more how the areas where I used to think I needed to do "things" to get closer to God have already been fulfilled by the sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus. He is what is bringing about the change in my life. He is the one restoring what I have broken. He is the one that has restored that relationship with God that I could have spent my whole life unsuccessfully trying to do. I find myslef living out the word Christian, Follower of Jesus, instead of tagging on the title like a badge. I realize that by saying this I again am being tagged/labeled but no longer by my choice. I choose to follow Christ, my soul is His, Satan can destroy my body but the core of who I am is Occupied by Jesus.

It is so easy to type all these words on a site post it and then wear this as a badge. I could leave it at that and live the same life I was living before Christ renewed me and carry more titles with that. But I think the real test is in what I do. "actions speak louder than words" yah? Don't let my shakspearian writing skills sway you into believing all that I have typed. For one I don't know all the answers but let what I say be reflected in what I do. Let my actions do the talking. Famous quote by some person: (someone may know who said this quote and please tell me if you do. If not happy day) "Preach the gospel always, if necessary use words."

Psalm 23

Well I need to sleep and I keep rambling.

Later Days

Aloha